Things I Cannot Do In The TARDIS
by HaleyandJessica
Summary: Two girls find themselves becoming companions while at a Doctor Who convention. They find a book of rules and can't help breaking them.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi guys. The writer of this chapter is actually Torchwooder98. I decided to do the Things i Cannot Do On The TARDIS story with a partner. So if you subscribed to that story, you'll love this one. **

"...And that is why I love BBC." Haley said to Jessica, swinging her legs in the empty space at the ladder on the top bunk.

Jessica nodded, although she was not paying attention. She was searching for the final part of her costume.

''Jess? You finished putting together your costume yet?" Haley asked, not noticing that her friend was barely paying attention.

"As soon as i find that maroon shirt-FOUND IT!" She yelled triumphantly, pulling a maroon T-shirt out of her closet and swinging it up in the air.

Haley jumped off the top bunk and landed cat-like, her long,messy blonde/brown braid flopping on her back.

She took a quick look at the leather jacket laying on the lower bunk, and the maroon T-shirt in Jessica's hand and immediately understood. "What is it with you and Nine? It's like you're obsessed."

"I'm _not _obsessed. i just...like him more then Ten or Eleven."

"A.K.A., obsessed."

"Oh shut up." Jessica said, rolling her eyes.

Haley just shrugged and yawned. 'We should get to bed. it's getting late, and the convention is at eight in the morning." she climbed up the ladder and flumped onto her bunk.

"Yeah, you're right." Jessica gathered her costume and put it by Haley's. She then flicked off the light and hopped into the lower bunk. Both girl's were quickly asleep.

* * *

"Jess."

"No Doctor, I didn't eat your banana. i don't even _like _banana's." Jessica said delusionally.(she was still a quarter way asleep.)

Haley rolled her eyes and shook her friend again. Nothing. She sighed and shook her head. She placed Jessica's iPod on the speakers and turned it up all the way. She then chose Captain Jack's theme. The music blasted out and Jessica was up in an instant.

'WHAT IN THE NAME OF RASSILON?"

"Sorry. It was the only way to get you up. Come on! It's five fourty-five and I wanna get there before there's an entry line! Let's get going!"

* * *

Twenty five minutes later and the two girls were in the car driving to the convention. Jessica had plugged her iPod into her car and they listened to a Doctor Who episode as she drove.

About fourty-five minutes later, the two girls had arrived at the building the convention was at. There was a handful of people camping out, but other than the five or so tents, they were the first.

They waited the hour or so by roleplaying together through a Facebook chat.

Than, the doors opened. Haley and Jessica ran in.

* * *

fourty or so minutes later...

"Whoa. Jess, look at this! Doctor Four lunch box!"

"I'm buyin'. i need that for junior year." Jessica said, taking out her wallet.

"Hey Jess? I'm actually getting claustrophobic. i'm gonna go out to the alley.

"Oh. okay, I'll come with you."

The two girls exited the building and walked out into the alley behind the convention.

They were just talking about Haley's favorite, and Jessica's second favorite Doctor, Ten, when they heard a noise they'd only heard on screen.

"No..." Haley said, grinning.

"Hale? You don't think..."

A blue police box had materialized in front of them. Haley and Jessica were jumping up and down by this time.

A man stuck his head out the door. He had messy, light brown hair, brown eyes, and freckles.

"Oh Time Lord." Haley whispered.

"What in the name of Gallifrey?" Jessica squealed.

"Oh, hello. Who are you? Rose!We're here!" The Doctor called over his shoulder.

Jessica gaped. Rose was her favorite companion. Well, of the modern Doctors. Sarah Jane was her favorite class _Who _companion.

A woman with blonde hair suddenly appeared, along with a dark haired man.

"Told you they were real." Haley whispered to Jessica. Jessica had always believed that they were just fictional characters in a very awesome television show. She held her hands up in defeat.

"Who are you two?"

"I'm Jessica." Jessica said, "and this is Hale." She pointed at her friend.

"Aloha!" Haley said, Jessica nudged her.

"Well. hello Jessica and Haley."

"hello, Doctor."

"How- how do you know my name?"

"Doctor? Who are these people?" Rose and Jack asked as they walked up to him.

"Hello Rose. Jack."

"Okay. Seriously, _how _do you know us?"

"you wouldn't believe it."

"try us."

Haley looked at Jessica, who shrugged.

"Well, okay. Let's see... In this world, you're a T.V. show character. Though Haley here believed that Torchwood created the show to cover up your existence. We also know you're in your tenth regeneration, you have two hearts, you're from the planet Gallifrey, which was destroyed by you in the Time War. We know that you travel in this blue police box, called the TARDIS, short for Time And Reletive Dimensions In Space."

The Doctor gaped at us. "I think... we can't let you go babbling about me. Get in here."

Jessica and Haley grinned excitedly at each other. They were about to fulfill their life-long goal. Becoming _companions._


	2. Chapter 2

"Jess?"

"Yeah Hal?"

"My back is starting to ache really badly."

"Quit complainin'. We're almost done aren't we?"

"Can we take a short break?"

"I guess. My hands are starting to blister anyway."

"Thanks."

I plopped down on the Doctor's bed and rubbed my back. Halley was sitting next me, well, rather lying next to me, as she was on her back, rubbing on her hands.

"Here, try using some lotion." I said, handing her the bottle.

"Thanks Jessica." She said, taking the bottle and squirting some onto her hands.

I stood up and started walking around. "I wish I'd brought my iPod."

"You forgot it in the car?"

"Yep. I didn't think I'd need it at a Doctor Who convention. Boy, I knew we'd meet some of the old Doctors, like Tom Baker and Paul McGann, but I never ever expected to meet the actual Doctor! And it's Ten! TEN! Even though I _would _prefer Nine" I squealed. Nine had been my favorite since I started watching the TV show. But Ten was my second favorite. (Eleven comes in Third)

Halley rolled her eyes. "What is it with you and Christopher Eccelston?"

"Hey. It's better than Gerard Butler."

She smirked. "Jess? Wanna look at his stuff?"

I grinned. "You betcha!" We giggled and ran over to his wardrobe.

I pulled a paper up. "OI! Halley! Look at this!"

It was a list of rules that was clearly written in the Doctor's handwriting. She took it from me and plopped onto the bed. She started reading aloud.

"One: Halley and Jessica are not to press random buttons. This could blow up the moon. And the moon is needed

Two: Gum is not to be put on the underside of the TARDIS console, Or on the floor. The door. In the closets. Gum is banned on the TARDIS.

Three: Halley and Jessica cannot enter the Doctor in a dance competition. Even though he'd a good dancer. He only dances with rose.

Four: Halley and Jessica must not give the Doctor Sugar. Ever

Five They are no longer allowed to ask if things are sonic. Even if it makes jack giggle.

Six. Luna Lovegood and the Doctor must NEVER meet.

Seven: They may not ask to be taken to Canterlot. Or Ponyville. Or Equstria in general.

Eight: If something makes one or both of them giggle, assume it is not allowed. Even if Jack did it first.

Nine: Just because the TARDIS cannot translate Gallifreyan does NOT mean it is not a language. This should not be said. It only pisses the Doctor off. They would like to stay on the TARDIS

Ten: The Doctor must not be given a blowtorch

Eleven: The Doctor must not be asked what else he has two of

Twelve: I am not allowed to fake an emergency so that the Doctor runs out of his shower in just a towel. Even if Rose finds it amusing as well.

Thirteen: They are not allowed to start a religion while visiting the past. Even if they think it's funny. Even if Jack thinks it's funny. ESPECIALLY if Jack thinks it's funny. They would not make good Gods.

Fourteen: They cannot make Lauren Cooper references.

Fifteen: Only experienced time travelers can fly the TARDIS. Halley and Jessica are not experienced time travelers. Even if jack gives them lessons. EXPECIALLY if jack gives them lessons. Jack is an experienced time traveler but not an experienced teacher. Only the Doctor can give lessons. And he will not. EVER.

Sixteen: No, the Doctor does not want fluffy bunny slippers for his birthday. He is not hiding them in his closet. He doesn't like the color called 'pink' anyway.

Seventeen: They cannot travel through time without the Doctor's help  
*Even if they want to meet George Washington. Pr Queen Elizabeth. Or their great-great-grandmothers.

Eighteen: They should stop bringing their own companions aboard the TARDIS. EVERYONE gets tired of the 'It's biger on the inside' speech.

Nineteen: It's a bad idea to post his baby pictures on facebook. Or him in drag, Even if the pictures are cute.

Twenty: They are not allowed to have girly sleepovers aboard the TARDIS, complete with face masks and nail polish. Jack will want to join. The Doctor will NOT want to join. He Doctor will really not want to join. They're to stop asking the Doctor to join.

Twenty-one: They must not draw on the Doctor's face in Sharpie while he's asleep. Or put make-up on him. Halley and Jessica will probably be kicked out of the TARDIS if this is done." She looked up at me with a mischievious grin.

I understood immediately. "We're breaking all the rules, aren't we?" She nodded. "This'll be fantastic Hal."

"Correctamundo."

"A word I have never heard before and hope I never will again." They laughed and went to show the book to Rose and Jack, whom they had befriended over the three or four days they'd been aboard the TARDIS.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys! It's Haley, and it's my turn to write a chappy go check out our profile for more on me! Okay here's the rule-**

**I am not allowed to fake an emergency just so The Doctor runs out in only a towel**

Rose and Jack were flipping through the book when they found an amusing rule that caught their eyes.

_I am not allowed to fake an emergency just so The Doctor runs out in only a towel_

"I rather like that rule." Commented Jack, waggling his eyebrows. Rose giggled, and they started formulating a very simple, yet most likely fool-proof plan.

**OOOooooOOOOoooooOOOOoooo**

The Doctor had just gotten into the shower in his room, after a long day of saving the human race. HE not usually took showers, but today he had had a specifically stressful day, with Rose being so close in danger. Speaking of her, he heard an ear piercing, heart shattering scream, full of pure fear. Not the usual tentative call of "DOCTOR!" but an actual scream, no words. He had stopped, mid-way through scrubbing his hair, rubbing out the gel. He paused then jumped out, grabbing the nearest towel-a pink one, most likely Rose's and rushed out of the room, sprinting towards the screams now turning into loud whimpers and various shouts of his name. He ran faster, to arrive in the main control room, only to find Rose sitting in the chair, staring at the small screen, trying to decipher the various symbols, and Jack dancing the twist. They looked up, only to have their eyes widen, getting in the look.

The Doctor, with his hair sticking up everywhere, soapy and tangled. His chest, (which was very cute, Rose noted…as well as Jack) with a bit of hair around the slightly defined muscles. And the pink towel wrapped around his waist, with the small miniature giraffes and flowers on it, him holding it bunched in one hand to keep it firmly in place.

"Wha-?" he asked, utterly confused. Rose and Jack attempted not to look at each other, but failed miserably, glancing at each other and breaking down into a fit of laughter, occasionally glancing up at The Doctor, who eventually walked away, back to his shower. It seemed that Rose and Jack had been particularly prank-y lately.

**Alright, hope that seemed okay I don't think I failed it to badly ;) Okay, so if you liked it, loved it, hated it, wanted to travel in the TARDIS with it, please review! Oh and review question of the day…(I enjoy doing these :D ) um…..Oh! Would you rather travel with the Ninth, Tenth or Eleventh doctor? My personal preference is the tenth. Okay, now I'm looking back at this and realizing it's fairly short…sorry! Most will most likely not exceed 1,000 words, and this is definitely not close to that! Anyways, please review!**


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